Humps and Lumps

25 Feb

He vetoed it. The Keystone Pipeline has been stayed.
It’s a good thing. Thank you Mr. President. Great call.

Hillary is in the news. She’s hiring advisers, considering the 2016 presidential run. Is there still doubt? Perhaps she’ll take her cues from Oscar night.

Wasn’t Patricia Arquette stunning? And Meryl Streep standing in solidarity was beautiful to behold. Women unite for equal pay, unite to keep old white men out of our healthcare, birth control options…there will be a reckoning.

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It’s Wit and Wisdom Wednesday.

After (M)onday and (T)uesday, comes WTF!

Anonymous
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Seriously. We’re waiting for another round of sleet and snow. It’s February 25th, in Arkansas…what is up with the weather? Oh yeah…

All you global warming deniers might want to pay attention. It may very well manifest in unexpected ways.

Oh how I long for a major investment in alternative energy. If I win the lottery, it’s solar all the way!

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Wednesday seems to have inspired a few random thoughts. Now we are on to filling out the application for the Little Rock Etsyfest. Held at the end of April, I have a goal in mind for this sale. If the weather cooperates and I can get to the barn soon, I just might make it! In the meantime, I’ll work indoors on the items I need for finishing the frames I want to take to the sale and for posting as many as I can on my Etsy site.

Slow and steady. Slow and steady.

Ah say

18 Feb
I can’t go on. I’ll go on.
Samuel Beckett
I really am starting over. I have been summarily fired. Don’t know whether to feel mightily relieved or burst into worry tears!

I may be relieved. It has been hanging over my head for weeks now. You know that feeling you is just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Yeah, that one.

I have issues. So I do! We all have our little idiosyncrasies.

Now to begin again, for the third time in less than three years, to look for gainful employment. And try to survive the interim. And work on the side of my life I wish/want to be my income source.

Right place, right time?

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So…today I’m grateful for my beautiful children, my gorgeous granddaughter, and my steady, albeit grumpy, spousal unit.

I wrote that down earlier so I wouldn’t forget to be grateful today.

Hey, I’m old. Short term memory sucks.

_________

It’s off to finalize a frame design, send out a resume, read a little, sleep a little, and look for that happy place.

Wonder if it’s at the unemployment office….

It’s 2015 and I’m starting over

17 Feb

I got past the big birthday without losing my mind last year.

Although I did lose a job I liked shortly thereafter. But I sort of got past that.

Then the surgery. Gastric bypass is not for weenies.

The ensuing months were a struggle. In oh so many ways. I had begun to believe I’d lost my sense of humor!

Oh, say it ain’t so!

I certainly lost my blogging mojo.

Now it’s 2015. Almost two months into it actually. I spent the first two months of this year making enemies of work mates…and there I was thinking I was doing a good job. What was I thinking?

And ennui settled in with a vengeance.

Damn, I really hate that. Seems to happen a lot around here.

So where is the lemonade?

Well…I’m squeezing lemons now.

I’m now working on reduced hours…not good for the purse. Not good for morale, either. I mean, we are of an age that should be more fun and less worry, right?

Okay, I’m being selfish and ungrateful. Time to stop.

Time to look for my happy place …that place in my heart and head untouched by any woe. It is a choice.

I’ve begun to build picture frames using pallet material. Recycling. The spousal unit cut a few apart for me and left the wood neatly stacked on my work tables in the barn.

Weather permitting, I’ll be back in the barn soon. And soon after that my etsy shop, name changed to aFrameJob, will be stocked. I’m signing up to participate in the Little Rock etsyfest2015 at the end of April. Perhaps a new career will be launched. We’ll see. I suck at follow-through. It’s time to learn.

Give me lemons and I’ll build frames!

It feels really good to be here. I should come back more often

Observation

4 Oct

The last few weeks have found me shopping for jeans and bargains. And for some unknown reason I became the proud owner of a low-rise skinny jean. Don’t get me wrong, I love the skinny part. My bony legs aren’t handling boot cut well at all. But low-rise? Whatever possessed me? I really hope they were cheap.

I wore said jeans to do the weekend errands this morning. And let me tell you, they annoyed the hell out of my granny panties.

Lesson learned.

Long time, no see

1 Jul

Much has happened since last I visited.

I’ve lost nearly 50 pounds.

I’ve become a grandmother to baby Zoe.

017

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was born on the day of the summer solstice, June 21, weighing 9 pounds and 2 ounces with a full head of dark hair that is tipped in gold. Her mother labored hard for 30 hours and was finally wheeled in for a Cesarean as Baby Zoe was found to be sunny side up.

Mamacita was so brave.

Mother and Child

Mother and Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She makes sweet little puppy noises.

I have fervently been seeking gainful employment and only within the last two or three weeks has my resume received attention from potential employers.

I have taken a part-time job at a movie theatre. Orientation begins tomorrow evening. The smell of popcorn will kill me. The free movies will amuse me.

A fog of depression has settled over me. Good thing I’m medicated for that, huh?

And I fell into TV binge watching, lying on the sofa with poor little Peanut snuggled up to me and Molly and Bun rotating at my feet.

001

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve collected patterns and boxes of things to do and they sit and wait for that spark of desire to do.

And rain falls and sun shines and the work of our lives continues to favor of the rich.

And five old white men have set women’s rights back decades.

And one elderly, smart lady named Ginsberg got it right in her dissent.

And the vibrant black man who is the president is being suffocated by a congress of idiots who call themselves tea party-ers and Republicans.

So, in reality, some things haven’t changed much at all.

 

A Little Bit of Fiction, Catching Up

1 Apr

The cardinal landing was hypnotic. She watched as he pecked at the block of suet she had placed in the cage feeder. Her worries departed. Her shoulders relaxed. She knew he would be her companion for the remainder of warm weather. He would appear in the window. His presence would calm her. She would watch as he adapted to a swaying limb. She would watch as he found his mate and brought her home. Perhaps she would find hers this spring. Perhaps she would continue to enjoy her solitude, independence, friends and family. She looked down at the book in her hands. Her life was full. She wondered again why she thought of taking a mate. Ah, the Mother would know best. She would leave it to Mother Nature. It just seemed the thing to do. She sighed mightily, stretched and smiled; opened her book anew. Life was good.

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 The past weeks have gone by in a haze of laziness and ennui. I really haven’t been paying attention. Entertaining myself with a movie, House of Cards, prepping for tax filing, having the roof estimate done, having it done again, and now for a third time this week, hasn’t been motivational in the least. I haven’t written much of anything, although I did organize my notes and ‘heard’ a few bits of dialogue that I jotted down for future reference.

 I haven’t found a job. I have designed a new reusable bag. The fabric is on the way and the prototype can be made. Let’s hope I don’t put it off. They need to go into the Etsy shop. And I need to promote the shop.

 I still want to sleep; just sleep. My appetite has certainly been suppressed. Perhaps the lower caloric intake is interfering with my energy level. I have moved on the next phase, albeit a bit too soon. Even with the surgery, one or two tablespoons of food per meal are not quite realistic for me. Carbohydrates are still a problem. Still taking 15 units of basal insulin twice a day, but BG is staying mostly within normal parameters.

 I really miss cola.

 Enough about that. It seems to be working.

 Spring is springing up! The hyacinths have bloomed and the stargazer lilies have appeared above the ground. The magnolia has blooms on it and so does one of the weeping cherries. I hope the other hasn’t become water-logged. The ground is saturated. I went to the barn last Friday to work on shelving for a bedroom and nearly busted butt in the mud. Left that for another day!

 I am soooooo ready to open the pool. The spousal unit says wait. The water will probably be cold till June. That’s disappointing.

But life is good and I’m looking forward to a couple of weekends away. Hope my smaller clothes fit. Have to go to the attic and check. What fun! Shopping in the attic.

 

 

Sunday Morning

16 Mar

This has been a much better morning. Shower nearly wore me out, but soreness is vastly improved!

I’m under the impression the multitude of directions you are given to follow in the wake of surgery is not working well for me. Too many restrictions for this random woman. So this morning I chose to just figure it out. We’ll see how that works.

I’ve not been getting enough nutrition trying to follow the clock and the sip this, stop, sip that, stop, wait, eat this, wait, sip that. So I poured a full bottle of protein drink into my perfect Contigo cup which will hold the chill for hours and I’m working on it. I need two of these a day, for 60 grams of protein which should be my minimum. I’ll worry about the rest of it as I can.

Smell is a problem. Bob cooked an Italian red sauce for himself yesterday and the garlic nearly drove me to the barn. The smell and taste of vitamins is awful. And I need breath mints in a bad way. Guess all this internal change has kept the buffalos stomping through my mouth in a big way.

I’m dreaming of the creamy peanut butter and whole grain crackers I can add on Wednesday. I’m not going to try the cream soups and such on this portion of the plan again. I’ll stick to SF Jello and Pudding and Yogurt. Maybe oatmeal again. Adding cinnamon makes it tasty.

Wednesday is the goal for just a bit of regular food. Yippee. oh Yippee.

If you are considering this sort of surgery, or know someone who might benefit from it, please know that it should not be entered into lightly. I have had the support of my husband, who actually recommended it. I’ve had a friend to question. I’ve done the research.  On this, Day 4, I’m thinking I might survive, perhaps thrive. I’m hoping for increased energy, less pain, no more insulin needles, and a longer life. Desperate measure…

I think I will journal here about this for a while. Perhaps I can help another.

Journey Forward

15 Mar

The third day after gastric bypass was a bit ruff. Very sore. Nothing tastes right except water and I can’t get the joy of a huge glass taken down. It’s frustrating. And I had a moment today when I questioned the decision. Time heals. I’m impatient. Thursday, I jumped up and did my walking in the halls with a vengeance, seeking to overachieve and go home ASAP.

Must remember that patience is a virtue and that my BG levels are going down. Of course I haven’t taken in any calories to speak of yet.

Time. Time can be a real friend or a horrible foe.

Today’s Weirdness

7 Mar

In a stunning turn of events Tuesday, I am back on solid food.

My BMI is borderline in qualifying for bariatric surgery. I cannot lose too much weight before being checked into the hospital. I was losing too much on liquids.

This is really weird. I’ve struggled fifty plus years with my weight and find myself needing to maintain it, not lose it. Now that is an irony.

I hope this works. I so hope my diabetes resolves.I keep repeating myself.

Of course, my age and the length of time I’ve been diabetic are not in my favor, but that chance, that small chance is enough. I have much to live for. After all I haven’t finished Season 2 of House of Cards! And Game of Thrones is coming up in April. And there are stories to write and hats to knit and gardens to tend.

And there is that first granddaughter coming up in June. So far my daughter hasn’t committed to a name for this beautiful child. So, I just keep referring to her as ‘Zoe’.

Wednesday, I bought Zoe’s first hat. My closet is full of hats and I can’t wait to play dress-up with her.

And it was a very productive day. Resume updated. Check. Unemployment filed. Check. Resume dropped at clinic looking for receptionist. Check. Banking done. Check. Stop at Sephora inside Penney’s to pick up exhausted facial products. Check. (New Zoe outfit too!) RX filled and picked up. Check.

And so Thursday and today we continue the reorganization of Zach’s room. Really need to finish this by Sunday, with two weeks of moderate lifting and recovery coming up!

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If you need to know how compromised our society and government is, look no further than the Oversight Committee meeting this wee, chaired by Republican Congressman Darrell Issa and including ranking member, Democrat Congressman Elijah Cummings.

Issa closed the proceedings and cut Cummings microphone.  Cummings was not happy. Personally, I would have pitched a bitch fit over that one.

Issa’s action was appalling on so many levels.

And now, apparently, he has given a back-handed apology. I don’t think it’s an apology if you then claim the person you are apologizing to ‘staged’ the confrontation.

Really? How would Cummings know before-hand you were gonna shut him down?

Rude, presumptuous, disrespectful behavior. It is an epidemic. And this ‘my way, or the highway’ attitude is beyond unhelpful.

I wish someone would explain to me why anyone would be so dedicated to an ideology, so inclined to hear only one side of an issue, so reticent to research the agenda of those with the money behind the mouths, so convinced they are ‘right’, that they are willing to sacrifice the poor, the elderly, and the sick.

You hate Obamacare. So construct a solution to this health-business crisis in America. And never doubt, it is business in America, not care.

You hate the debt. Then stop waging war and making the 1% richer. Stop giving the wealthy a tax-free ride. They should pay more, they make more and they don’t seem inclined to voluntarily help those who help them.  Stop allowing corporations to dictate legislation. Stop allowing U.S. business to sell in the U.S. if they move their jobs overseas.

You want jobs? Two thoughts: clean energy and infrastructure. Stop giving your tax dollars to the oil and natural gas industry and demand they spend some of the billions of dollars of profit they see each year on clean energy. They will still make money.

You think abortion is immoral. Then don’t get one.

You want to reverse Roe v. Wade? Get over it.  You send young people to war to die. Isn’t that rather hypocritical?

And stop voting for those who are targeting your emotions. Vote with your head.

Sanctimonious moralists!

Here’s the rub. Some of those sanctimonious moralists are friends.

And so I will keep repeating my political mantra: I will defend your rights. Will you defend mine?

Perhaps one day, those friends will understand.

Day Seven

4 Mar

As most of you know, I am planning gastric bypass surgery in hopes of resolving my Type 2 Diabetes.

Today is Day 7 of the pre-op liquid diet. It is supplemented by cream soups and hot cereals.

This morning I awoke with my right arm stuck between my teeth.

I hadn’t drawn blood yet. Lucky me.

I stumbled into the kitchen and made coffee. Oh, that too sweet coffee  is liquid and Coffeemate makes an approved additive.

I whimpered over that first cup for a few minutes.

It could have been an internal, stomach(?),  whimpering.

I flipped on the TV and Morning Joe.

Morning Joe.

And what is the first thing to besiege my eyes? Could it be? Say it isn’t so. A commercial? An On The Border, unlimited enchilada commercial? Really? Now? After having tried to consume my own arm?

Oh what torture is this?

It was a train wreck. I couldn’t look away. Eyes glazed, torpor befell me and I stood.

I cannot say how I came to be in front of the tv.

Nor, can I say how it came to pass that, hands planted on the mantel, I regained my senses and found myself licking the screen.

I may have to go back to sleep. Finish the arm.

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