Tag Archives: writing

Slow Down, Moving Too Fast

14 May

Time is hurtling by me. And that’s a topic that recurs in my thoughts and ramblings with stunning regularity. Time.

How does one find the time to do the things that satisfy, make life worth living, when so much of our time is spent just trying to make a living?

You would think at my age I would have a better grasp of this. Yeah. You would think. But it has escaped me. This road I travel is one of accidents. It’s a take-it-as-it-comes road, good, bad, or indifferent, just deal-with-it-when-it-happens road.

I’m trying to take a right. Signing up for all the festivals and craft shows I feel like I can afford and posting to my Etsy shop and 7 or so other platforms is a beginning. But it is a slow go. And I know I’m not moving fast enough…time is moving too fast…it’s slipping by me and my desire to begin by traveling Arkansas with my wares is becoming a reality in slow motion because I’m trying to fund it the goal without making sales of my wares…but I am building a following one person at a time. I’m making contacts, passing out cards, receiving new invitations to participate…is this how it is done? Is this the beginnings of a success I’ve never known? I don’t recognize it as I have no experience of it.

Time. Do I have time to do this? The spousal unit thinks not. He has no confidence in me. He’s focused on my efforts to find a ‘job’. Yes…I do need a steady income source. But I need this creative outlet. I need to spend time in my ‘happy place’ and travel to the festivals and shows, local and not so local, set up and talk to people, enjoy the social aspects as well as the possibility of success.

Time. I want to add mono-prints and emulsion prints to my inventory. I’m stymied. I reach a point in the day where my energy has waned and I’m ready to immerse myself in a book. I need to learn to pull back from that…Time.

I’ve just indulged in such a self-absorbed rant. My apologies.

Here’s another post to my Etsy shop. It’s time.

4 x 6 Picture swapping photo frame. Rustic little picket fence.

4 x 6 Picture swapping photo frame. Rustic little picket fence.

Picture too. 4 x 6 picture swapping frame.

Picture too. 4 x 6 picture swapping frame.

www.etsy.com/shop/aFrameJob

 

Fabulous for Friday

27 Mar

Today’s Etsy post features purple!

Featuring purple fleurs and my grand, this photo display can be yours. Just click below!

Featuring purple fleurs and my grand, this photo display can be yours. Just click below!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

aFrameJob is here.

If you are of a certain age you will remember purple people eaters. I wonder of the eater is purple or if the eater only eats purple people…That’s a debate for the philosophical intellectuals among us.

The simple act of posing a purple people eater debate proves I do not meet the conventional definition of a philosophical intellectual. Whoa!

Today has been a pretty good day. Hope it has been for you as well. If not, make the evening outstanding!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, madness, and moving on

3 Mar

It’s Monday.

It’s gloomy outside and cold and light flakes of snow are falling.

There are a few birds twittering among the still leafless branches of the walnut trees.

There is a dog whining at my elbow.

The spousal unit brought me a present this morning. I don’t know why. He is so filled with hate and anger. All of it seems to be directed at my loss of employment and my son. We are preventing him from retiring.

Bi-polar disorder affects the patient and his family. It is a horrible illness to live with, made worse if the patient refuses treatment for underlying issues.

 

I am sad. I am happy. I worry. I leave it to the universe to sort out.

It IS what it IS.

I am hungry for real food after five days of liquids and hot cereal. I’ve lost 6 pounds. Not an ideal situation for the gastric bypass and my borderline status for qualifying.

 

I am hungry to finish something begun long ago.

Yet I struggle, even as a senior, to overcome ennui and a paralysis I cannot identify.

Fear of failure? Long ago dreams never honored.

Perennial optimism shrouds bone-weariness.

 

There is a roof to repair.

A bathroom requires propping up from beneath.

There is a fence line to clear.

This house truly is a money pit.

Perhaps it’s time to let it go, this place I’ve called home for over half a century.

Is that even possible?

 

I will open the notes. I will open my mind.

I will finish the outline.

I will fashion a new chapter in this life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, Snow, Shopping

8 Feb

I’m reading a book on organizing and maintaining. Another desperate measure?

Here’s my take on it. My probably started in college when there was a whole new world opening up in front of my very eyes.

No longer the chubby little girl with a lack of confidence; now a chubby young woman with a lack of confidence and an inability to say no when asked to participate in one thing or another. Reader’s theatre, anyone? Yeah, me! Stage hand? I’ll volunteer! Need a body in the scene shop to build sets or hang lights? Oh, here I am.

And my home became a tangle of dropped papers and piled up laundry. Anybody relate yet?

Then, there were kids and husbands and they just don’t get on the same page with you. You clean until you throw your hands up in despair.

I have enough of a challenge to take care of my own messes, let alone everyone else’s.

So today, I’m making a resolution. One corner at a time, maintain that corner for a while and start on another corner.

Baby steps. I think we’ve been through this before. Hmmmm.

——

There’s snow on the ground. What is up with the weather? Oh, yeah…global warming. And there is a large faction of folks out there that don’t believe it. Okay, folks, get on board. We’re killing the planet. We have to start fixing it. Again, baby steps are needed by all of us.

Get on board, peeps. We can do this.

Let’s take recycling. I’m not perfect. I slip, but I try. Same with re-useable shopping bags. I remember them more often than not now.

And it doesn’t hurt a bit! It’s a pain-free effort. I really like it when it’s pain free. Making changes too.

—–

So, with the snow, I drove Zach to work. The roads weren’t too bad, so I picked up the daughter and away we went to shop for baby clothes. I had coupons at Penney’s. Woooowhooo. And it was her pay check week and her turn to buy. So much fun and such cute little girl onesies and pants and little jackets and play sets. Love me some Carter’s! Target has some cute stuff too. But she bought a desk there today. We had to retrieve Zach from work to help unload that one!  Glad he was available.

She has discovered such cute ideas for baby shower on Pinterest. Can’t wait! One of our Bunco players is also pregnant and one of Falon’s other friends is having dual babes…fraternal twins. Oh, my. I’m thinking play dates. Lots of play dates.

Guess we need to rest up for those.

ZZZZZZZZZZ.

Wednesday and I’m Trying This Again

5 Feb

I’ve downloaded the app. If all works well I can do a post from just about anywhere although this tiny iPhone keyboard may be the cause of many a spelling error. I’m certain you will be forgiving.
So just for today may I say I’m determined to take on this new venue and make it work!
It would certainly increase my happiness quotient.
Wooowhooo.

Coming back, Chaos, Good things

2 Feb

It is Sunday and I am trying to find my way back to blogging and writing and find my way forward to the completion of a project.

As Trena observed, the shaking of shiny new keys is enough to distract me.

Ah, find a way.

I am to be a grandmother toward the end of June; a very involved grandmother as the husband/father is soon to be an ex. Long story and part of the long story that has kept me away from my blog.

Job changes, trying to overcome the challenges of senior learning, conflict, moving the daughter, moving her again, trying to find a place for everything, attempting to organize the chaos and the emotional toll, decisions about health and all the random moments of love, conversation and an onerous exhaustion, have contributed to my absence.

Life happens.

The spousal unit has been most accommodating. I think he is rather excited by the prospect of a little one in our midst. I am. We shopped Friday evening for Zoe Kaitlyn Ella Grace (no decision has been made on the Tadpole’s name yet) and he found cute little onesies and outfits and shoes and socks and pointed them out to daughter and I. May I say that Momma is a picky wench.

Our lives will change again. She will bring so much hope with her. This can be an ugly world, but there is hope that we can show her the beauty, and that she will be part of a generation that changes the world and welcomes tolerance and understanding and stops the madness that stupid white men have generally perpetrated.

What a sentence.

_____

The spousal unit has also encouraged me to look into bariatric surgery. I’ve mentioned this before. His director had a gastrectomy and lost 35 pounds in 6 weeks. She looks amazing, says she feels great, and is on her way to resolving her lifetime weight issues.

But looks are certainly not the consideration. The risks are increased with my age, but the benefits could be outstanding. With gastric bypass, there is a good chance that my Type 2 diabetes will resolve. It has largely gone uncontrolled for the past 20 years and it will kill me early if something isn’t done. I’ve probably lost and re-gained a thousand pounds over my lifetime; always returning to the same high.

Desperate measures.

I’ve attended the seminar and been accepted for surgery, although I am not morbidly obese and barely qualify based on my BMI, I was accepted because the addition of the diabetes and high cholesterol pushed me into qualifying. Now I must make the co-pays and schedule the surgery. March will be the month we schedule. I have some fear…but lots of anticipation. I hope to feel amazing after this surgery. I hope to lose the insulin and perhaps even decrease the pain.

And live to be 100!

_____

So, today I resolve to carve out time to blog and write and spend time contemplating the beauty of the universe. It will probably be a slow go, rather erratic, somewhat chaotic, but such is life. Perhaps that is more of the beauty of it than I realize.

A New Year, Expectations, and Hope

1 Jan

The past couple of months have been a whirlwind of activity. I‘ve been the tornado in the midst of a seemingly unmoving sea…skimming the surface and trying not to think too much.
The spousal unit has stepped up a couple of times to save me from the chaos…cleaning and removing the detritus of a sudden and unexpected need to clear my craft cave and make it a bedroom for a few weeks.
And I’ve fallen into bed so early on occasion that personal accomplishment has been impossible. Thus there has been no time to commit myself to a sentence, let alone a paragraph.
Always in the jumble of thoughts entering my head is the story, the little piece of fiction, I want to write.
It stews and simmers still…five-plus years after conception.
That is a long pregnancy. You’d think I’d just get it over and give birth.
But labor has yet to be sustained. Contractions way to far apart.
And with that, a new year has begun.
The past one has been full of disappointment and financial setback. I’m sure we will recover, but time is slipping away with great speed and the knowledge of more changes in lifestyle to come this year. Good ones.
I have an awesome list of chores to complete, a birthday on the horizon, one that will take me into my sixth decade. That is certainly a milestone.
After 20 plus years I’m changing my doctor and, because of the diabetes will probably undergo gastric bypass in the next few months. I dread it, but I want to live as long as possible and the diabetes will kill me as I have no control. I have been at this weight my entire life with no success at keeping off the thousand pounds I’ve lost. Desperate measures.
Reconnecting with old friends this year has been a marvelous experience, reminding me that our paths are sometimes circuitous and always full of discovery and love and friendship.
I hope that 2014 will bring a resolution to the hate and anger that is being spewed forth in our political arena. The divisive tactics in advertising and government are meant to tear us apart. I wish that we could all embrace our differences and hold our prejudices apart. If you cannot condone, at least do not condemn those who are different from you.
We have so little time on this planet, wasting it on negative emotion and greed seems like the ultimate sin.
It has always been my contention that people hear what they want to hear and see what they want to see. Let me encourage us human beings to open our eyes and truly examine our beliefs, political and religious, and otherwise and ask ourselves if kindness and tolerance and love are the driving forces behind our thoughts and actions. Do your research. Delve into the hidden agendas of those who speak divisively. Search out the truth. More than likely the truth will be somewhere in the middle.
The past couple of days I have heard the expression ‘brother from another mother’ in two different situations. How lovely if we thought of each other as such.
Wherever you are in life, I hope you find your peace and prosperity this new year, 2014. And I hope America finds hers through positive actions and thoughtful processes. I hope that America, we the people, finally find health and well-being for all our citizens and not just the privileged few.

Worry, Work, Write

26 Oct

Worry works.

The first time I heard that, I laughed.

It isn’t funny anymore.

Let’s face it, you worry and nothing happens, your worry is justified.

You worry and it does happen, well then you knew it all along.

Bob worries.

And he worried about the heating and air going out until it did.

We is seriously poor now.

I will have to work until I drop dead because now he’s obsessing over the septic system.

And you know his worry will work.

——-

On a lighter note, I’ve finally taken a baby step toward my version of a Hess/Evanovitch style light read novel. I’m working on the Snowflake method. Seems to be simple and organized;  the former plays into my preference for following the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) principal and the latter gives me a focus, which I lack in spades.

The first step in the Snowflake (thanks Randy Ingermanson) is a one sentence summary of the novel, trying for fewer than fifteen words:

The death of a second-sighted citizen wreaks havoc with the eccentric inhabitants of Armageddon, Arkansas.

Ladies: would you pick it up based on that one sentence? A light read? A weekend of entertainment?

Step Two expands that sentence to a paragraph. I’m working on it. My notes are beside me: a page of scribbles that does have a complete sentence here and there, an editor’s nightmare that makes sense to me.

There are also character notes in the briefcase, index cards with scenes that have played in my head.

As shopping is no longer a viable activity, writing can now become a great substitute.

——-

The push of time toward the winter solstice, the morning darkness, and the anticipation of a dark drive home soon, instills a certain melancholy in all of us I suppose. I find myself experiencing emotions I cannot name, almost a ‘missing’ of something….a curious sense of nostalgia, perhaps? Ah, and yes, my birthday approaches. Sixty is a number, I remind myself. It is not a death sentence.

No…we receive our death sentences at birth.

I’m sure most will find that a rather morbid statement.

Humans. We are all in this together. We share the same sort of entrance and the same sort of exit, and can’t agree on much of anything in the in-between.

Now you know why I’ve been MIA. A cluttered mind can often lead to ennui.

February Had it to: Ennui

It Really IS That Simple

1 Oct

There has been some discussion of the new health care laws among my peers lately. It would seem that corporations are determined to scare the hell out of us. The spin they are placing on it and the decisions they make in regard to it, are CHOICE$ peeps. It is very simple. Either the company you work for takes care of its employees or it doesn’t. And let there be no mistake, most of them WON’t  take care of you unless forced to do so. And in the forcing, the will find any loophole they can to make the company more profitable and to screw you.

The wealthy will either develop a social consciousness and care of the people who work in the trenches to create their wealth…or they won’t.

It really is that simple.

All the cussing and discussing is basic bullshit.

All of this ideological nonsense is a cover. As long as you are discussing guns and abortion, you are not fully focused on the many ways you are getting screwed.

And most of us, the 98% are getting screwed in one way or another, in this beautiful U S of A.

I know you don’t want Medicare or Social Security reduced or eliminated.

I know you don’t want to file bankruptcy over a medical bill or have to wait until you are so diseased that the emergency room is your only option and the bills will be thrown into the trash as you worry over them knowing there is nothing you can do. You can’t get blood out of a turnip.

I know you don’t want government services and offices to shut down just because house Republicans want to defund the Affordable Care Act for ideological reasons for the 43rd time.

It is the law. Move on.

I know you want to see that those 48 million people, who have no preventative care or can’t take their kids to the doctor when they are sick, released from the medical stress they live under.

You are sympathetic to their needs. You are better than the 2%.

Remember that 2% profited from the wars that killed your sons and daughters. They profit from your labor. Their success may have begun with a great idea, but you made that idea a reality. They should pay more taxes and make sure we all have health care and a secure retirement.

It is their responsibility.

That’s how it should trickle down.

Forecasting rain and broccoli later

18 Sep

Partly cloudy and beans for dinner.

Forgot my lottery tickets.

Won’t be a winner.

Glad to say we’ve humped the week. That doesn’t sound right. Perhaps I should try again…Nah, too much trouble for a Wednesday.

Bicycling and haiku (did I just sneeze?) were on NPR  news yesterday morning, coincidental to the bike ride we had planned for the afternoon and to the haiku composition I was working on. Apparently you can submit your bike riding related haiku, or two if you like, and the best one wins a new helmet!  As soon as I hear about the contest again, unless it was an aural hallucination, I’ll pass on the contact info.

So today is all about haiku.  Bless you.

The last two were inspired by bicycling.

1.

Pots of blooms grace streets

Paved with the seat of dead men-

Horses canter by

2.

Personal grace binds

One to kindness and caring-

Swords slashed off rolled heads

3.

Legs churn, wheels turning

Snakes slither, birds sing river-

Fisherman catches fish

4.

Pump, pause, catch the turn

Of leaves just reds and yellows-

Change gears, spring arrived

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