Tag Archives: mental meanderings

Slow Down, Moving Too Fast

14 May

Time is hurtling by me. And that’s a topic that recurs in my thoughts and ramblings with stunning regularity. Time.

How does one find the time to do the things that satisfy, make life worth living, when so much of our time is spent just trying to make a living?

You would think at my age I would have a better grasp of this. Yeah. You would think. But it has escaped me. This road I travel is one of accidents. It’s a take-it-as-it-comes road, good, bad, or indifferent, just deal-with-it-when-it-happens road.

I’m trying to take a right. Signing up for all the festivals and craft shows I feel like I can afford and posting to my Etsy shop and 7 or so other platforms is a beginning. But it is a slow go. And I know I’m not moving fast enough…time is moving too fast…it’s slipping by me and my desire to begin by traveling Arkansas with my wares is becoming a reality in slow motion because I’m trying to fund it the goal without making sales of my wares…but I am building a following one person at a time. I’m making contacts, passing out cards, receiving new invitations to participate…is this how it is done? Is this the beginnings of a success I’ve never known? I don’t recognize it as I have no experience of it.

Time. Do I have time to do this? The spousal unit thinks not. He has no confidence in me. He’s focused on my efforts to find a ‘job’. Yes…I do need a steady income source. But I need this creative outlet. I need to spend time in my ‘happy place’ and travel to the festivals and shows, local and not so local, set up and talk to people, enjoy the social aspects as well as the possibility of success.

Time. I want to add mono-prints and emulsion prints to my inventory. I’m stymied. I reach a point in the day where my energy has waned and I’m ready to immerse myself in a book. I need to learn to pull back from that…Time.

I’ve just indulged in such a self-absorbed rant. My apologies.

Here’s another post to my Etsy shop. It’s time.

4 x 6 Picture swapping photo frame. Rustic little picket fence.

4 x 6 Picture swapping photo frame. Rustic little picket fence.

Picture too. 4 x 6 picture swapping frame.

Picture too. 4 x 6 picture swapping frame.

www.etsy.com/shop/aFrameJob

 

It’s Time

26 Mar

Soooooo hard to believe how fast time flies these days. Although the sinus infection from Hades has slowed it down a bit for the past two weeks….doctor visit anyone? I really don’t want to go. Body, heal thyself.

Zach is gardening in the drizzly, cloudy weather we are experiencing today. The drizzly, cloudy stuff has become a common theme…and the temperature is dropping. We must keep our hopes up that warm weather and swimming will soon be upon us.

In the meantime, we await the new roof and the tree-trimming that has to precede it. Oh dear, home repair is expensive! We’ll also be shopping for a new hot water heater. I can’t wait to move to an on-demand version, energy-efficient and won’t crash through the floor!  The floor in that spot has a joist problem. Poor old house. Love it, but it is the money pit.

I’m taking my stoppered head to a place of comfort for a spell. Have a great day. Smell a few roses along the way.

Ah say

18 Feb
I can’t go on. I’ll go on.
Samuel Beckett
I really am starting over. I have been summarily fired. Don’t know whether to feel mightily relieved or burst into worry tears!

I may be relieved. It has been hanging over my head for weeks now. You know that feeling you is just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Yeah, that one.

I have issues. So I do! We all have our little idiosyncrasies.

Now to begin again, for the third time in less than three years, to look for gainful employment. And try to survive the interim. And work on the side of my life I wish/want to be my income source.

Right place, right time?

_________

So…today I’m grateful for my beautiful children, my gorgeous granddaughter, and my steady, albeit grumpy, spousal unit.

I wrote that down earlier so I wouldn’t forget to be grateful today.

Hey, I’m old. Short term memory sucks.

_________

It’s off to finalize a frame design, send out a resume, read a little, sleep a little, and look for that happy place.

Wonder if it’s at the unemployment office….

A New Year, Expectations, and Hope

1 Jan

The past couple of months have been a whirlwind of activity. I‘ve been the tornado in the midst of a seemingly unmoving sea…skimming the surface and trying not to think too much.
The spousal unit has stepped up a couple of times to save me from the chaos…cleaning and removing the detritus of a sudden and unexpected need to clear my craft cave and make it a bedroom for a few weeks.
And I’ve fallen into bed so early on occasion that personal accomplishment has been impossible. Thus there has been no time to commit myself to a sentence, let alone a paragraph.
Always in the jumble of thoughts entering my head is the story, the little piece of fiction, I want to write.
It stews and simmers still…five-plus years after conception.
That is a long pregnancy. You’d think I’d just get it over and give birth.
But labor has yet to be sustained. Contractions way to far apart.
And with that, a new year has begun.
The past one has been full of disappointment and financial setback. I’m sure we will recover, but time is slipping away with great speed and the knowledge of more changes in lifestyle to come this year. Good ones.
I have an awesome list of chores to complete, a birthday on the horizon, one that will take me into my sixth decade. That is certainly a milestone.
After 20 plus years I’m changing my doctor and, because of the diabetes will probably undergo gastric bypass in the next few months. I dread it, but I want to live as long as possible and the diabetes will kill me as I have no control. I have been at this weight my entire life with no success at keeping off the thousand pounds I’ve lost. Desperate measures.
Reconnecting with old friends this year has been a marvelous experience, reminding me that our paths are sometimes circuitous and always full of discovery and love and friendship.
I hope that 2014 will bring a resolution to the hate and anger that is being spewed forth in our political arena. The divisive tactics in advertising and government are meant to tear us apart. I wish that we could all embrace our differences and hold our prejudices apart. If you cannot condone, at least do not condemn those who are different from you.
We have so little time on this planet, wasting it on negative emotion and greed seems like the ultimate sin.
It has always been my contention that people hear what they want to hear and see what they want to see. Let me encourage us human beings to open our eyes and truly examine our beliefs, political and religious, and otherwise and ask ourselves if kindness and tolerance and love are the driving forces behind our thoughts and actions. Do your research. Delve into the hidden agendas of those who speak divisively. Search out the truth. More than likely the truth will be somewhere in the middle.
The past couple of days I have heard the expression ‘brother from another mother’ in two different situations. How lovely if we thought of each other as such.
Wherever you are in life, I hope you find your peace and prosperity this new year, 2014. And I hope America finds hers through positive actions and thoughtful processes. I hope that America, we the people, finally find health and well-being for all our citizens and not just the privileged few.

Weekend Adventures, Monday Mania Approaches

15 Jul

The best laid plans….

I have to publish the short story begun last week in its entirety once completed, perhaps on a separate page of the blog as I seem to be incapable of establishing a schedule for writing and blogging.

It is a most bothersome predicament.

Last week I was in bed shortly after 8 o’clock two or three nights, having succumbed to the sheer exhaustion of 9 hour days with only brief intervals for a bite to eat or a trip to the bathroom. I do hope this time gobbling task passes soon.

Saturday, however, I was treated to a day of respite by my daughter. We took the short drive to Hot Springs for breakfast, a soak in the mineral baths, and a bit of shopping. As always when in company with Falon, I had a lovely day. We even splurged on a cupcake at Fat Bottom Girl’s Cupcake shop!

Our first stop was the Farmer’s Market. You can buy produce and crystals, homemade breads and jewelry. The highlight here was the Old-timer’s volunteer band. What a treat! Some of those men and women were pushing 90. With guitar and mandolin, banjo, and fiddle, they made music for a small, but enthusiastic crowd.

We soaked at the Quapaw Baths. The water is so buoyant with minerals and salts that you can lean into them and find yourself afloat with no effort. I’ve never been able to relax enough to float, but the waters here will hold you and remove all pressure on muscle and bone. Steeping in 104 degree water and sliding into 98 degree water makes for a refreshing tension reducing experience. Loved it. Although that soak and the outside temperature caused a torturous sweat for a few minutes! Perhaps all those ugly toxins were expunged from my system.

And we visited Nom Noms for dinner nachos. They were nom nom too! Good thing we shared one. It was huge!

I’m still chuckling over the number of times I executed a side street turn-around or a U-turn to compensate for having missed the little blue dot target on Falon’s  I-phone GPS. You would think we’d never been in Hot Springs!  At one point we turned into an alley, travelled up a steep hill and onto a roof top parking area designated as ‘private’. I did a private turn around and left it in peace.

We stopped to take a picture of the historic Hot Springs high school, now loft apartments.

010

Historic Hot Springs High School

How many students entered through these doors? What marks have they left upon the world?

How many students entered through these doors? What marks have they left upon the world?

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Hot Springs is beginning to appear tidier and better kept. The only disappointment is the demise of the Majestic Hotel. Would that someone would restore and refine her, make her a beauty. She would be lovely for condos, with shops and spas on the lower level, and a dog walking and grooming service for resident pets. A small grocer could offer services. Green spaces could be created for relaxation. A rooftop garden would be lovely. And making her self-sustaining would top the cake!

There is another, smaller hotel downtown that would benefit from the vision of an entrepreneur/restorer. If you know anyone, send them my way. I would love to show them around.

I found this stumbling around…and had to share.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

“She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be an Obama Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”


Link to original post

Another Monday! Manic, oh yeah.

Rough Night

Rough Night

New Poochies and Suckers

4 Apr

Hell has frozen over. How do I know this?

Bob came in this morning with a big bundle of dog toys, blankets, puppy pads, a puppy tent, and an apple head chi named Angel.

He is such a pushover. We need to paint ‘SUCKER’ on his forehead.  If I had created such a furor I’d never hear the end of it.

Apparently one of the students doing her practical in the sleep lab had to find a home for the little darling. Angel belonged to her mother and her dad is not a dog person. Don’t know what happened to her mother, but she left Angel and now Angel is ours.

That was the beginning.

Then there was the random haircut, followed by the loading of the table saw into Bruhonda while dressed for an interview. The table saw and the Zachary were dropped off about 5 blocks from the interview. The space these kids are working on is awesome. Downtown is coming back with a new generation in charge. That’s awesome.

The interview was awesome too. No matter the outcome I had a great time with the two ladies. I was excited just to be out and about.

As I left the interview and climbed into Bru, I was approached by a lady who was lost and couldn’t find her car. She had just passed the test for her realty license and was unfamiliar with the city. I helped her find her car. Good deed for the day was done!

Then I returned to Zachary. He wanted to stay where he was and arranged for a ride to orchestra rehearsal. I went home and took a nap. Woke up about the time I was supposed to get Zach…so ran out the door. I was late, but he had been picking flowers for a new girl. We stopped for a vase.

Suffice it to say at this point that the remainder of the evening did not progress as planned. We ended up buying groceries for a little old lady panhandling downtown. She took us hook, line, and sinker. Only later did we discover that she routinely approaches people in the downtown area for one thing or another. Oh well. Guess Zach and I need ‘SUCKER’ painted on our foreheads too.

Thursday. It’s done now. Very interesting.

Ruts, Solutions, and Power Washing

18 Dec

Tuesday is gone.

I’ve been cleaning…all day and into the night.

There are some things that one can do over and over and over and never finish.

Cleaning.

Cooking.

Those are the two that drive me batsh*t crazy.

But then if you look at humans closely, it seems we are a repetitious lot.

We eat, sleep, poop. We work. Sometimes we play. Most of us have dug in and stay with the same schedule day in and day out.

Some of us like that rigidity.

Some of us don’t.

Bob likes it.

I don’t.

So I’m thinking it’s time to shake things up and start anew.

First I think we need to build our homes of concrete with drains in every room. On cleaning day take out the power washer, hose it all down and walk away. I’m thinking thirty minutes max and it would be dust free, clean, and sanitized.

Auto interiors need to be completely waterproof.  Open the doors and use the same power washer to clean up spilled soda, crumbs from lunch on the go, dust and grime. Five minutes and the interior shines!

Clothing? Perhaps we could go with disposable. Better yet let’s invent a fabric that doesn’t wrinkle no matter how long it stays in the dryer. Oh, and make the washer and dryer one machine. I want to throw the laundry in and forget it until I need to pull it out to wear.

That cooking thing has me stumped. I can only see one solution. Eat out. Unfortunately it is so much healthier to eat at home. Cheaper too. So we’re going to have to exercise some serious creativity on this one. I’m open to suggestion.

Now…we have to work on jobs and rut destruction.

Brain freeze! Alas, it will have to wait for inspiration to show up.

Yuck. That requires more of that patience thing. Of which, I have none. Wonder if you can buy it…..

Woman Seeks Commitment for Black Friday Shopping

26 Nov

I am a blogaholic. It’s been five days since my last post.

Two hours later… I ‘ve made it through all my email! Taking the holiday to cook, eat, and shop really put me in a state of behind. I like that. State of Behind. That’s my perpetual state of being. I live in a State of Confusion.  I wonder if the State of Behind is synonymous with the State of Late. I suppose that would depend on how you define late. I don’t think it would work for the late Mr. Smith.

Tuesday, I shopped for groceries and an odd assortment of craft supplies. Wednesday dear hubby and I did chores and errands. Thursday I cooked, we ate, we played Fill or Bust and then Falon and I left the house on a night long shopping expedition.

What were we thinking?

Apparently we weren’t thinking at all.

We started at Walmart at 8 p.m. People had been lined up for four hours according to one of the staff. We missed a few deals.

We headed to Sears tool department. The things I wanted didn’t go on sale till 4 a.m.

Michael’s was next. Now that was a joy. We got what we wanted and the store was not crowded.

Next stop Kohl’s. Kohl’s was opening at midnight so we had a few minutes in the parking lot, in the rain. I checked my blood sugar, injected my insulin, and we played games on our I-phone and Kindle Fire, respectively.

We got some of what we wanted and a couple of things we stumbled across. We stood in line for over an hour to check out, but that was okay. Kohl’s gets you through pretty quick. They have method to the madness!

By this time, my blood sugar had dropped a little lower. I was hungry again. We went to Denny’s for breakfast. Num!

Next stop was Gordman’s at 5 a.m. It was still drizzling. We napped for a few minutes, played more games….then decided to skip Gordman’s and go to Penny’s for their 6:00 a.m. opening.

Penney’s was a struggle. Folks is crazy. And the fine print on the signs equals disappointment in the check-out line. I lost Falon, nearly got trampled, she yelled for me, I heard her….told her I was headed to the back, stood in line only to find out about said fine print and left with her swearing she’d never do it again.

I should have recorded her, video and sound.  Some of the sound would be X-rated.

At least we made line friends. You know those people you chat up while standing in line attempting to stave off frustration and sleep?

In our sad, frustrated, sleep-deprived, State of Fogginess, we decided to head North to Joann Fabrics.

It was the best stop ever! I actually got fabric and pinking shears, rotary cutting blades, and a dog toy for less than the cost of the fabric shears. I was soooooooooo happy. And there were no large crowds, no lines. I was sooooooooo much happier.

I dropped Falon at home and headed to the house. Finally at approximately 10:00 a.m. Friday morning I found the sofa.  Woke up just in time to make dinner and go back to sleep.

FIVE REASONS TO STAY HOME AND INTERNET SHOP ON BLACK FRIDAY:

  1. FOLKS IS CRAZY
  2. PEOPLE WILL APPARENTLY KILL FOR A GOOD DEAL (See Number 1)
  3. SLEEP DEPRIVATION MAKES FOLKS RUDE AND PUSHY (See Number 1)
  4. SOME PEOPLE WILL BUY MULTIPLES OF GOOD DEALS THEREBY DEPRIVING OTHERS OF SAID DEAL (See Number 1)
  5. YOU STAY HOME, I GET THE DEALS. Hahaha.

I’ve left specific instructions for my commitment to a pre-chosen asylum should I EVER consent to Black Friday shopping outside the confines of my laptop again. The arrangements have been made.

So after all that I’m thinking a weekend of decorating and crafting, right?

MAKING PLANS 101: Don’t Do It.

Saturday morning I’m drinking coffee and trying to figure out if it’s still Friday. Bob comes out showered and fully dressed. Do I wanna go to Best Buy with him?

Not only no, but HELL NO!

I fall out of my chair. Shopping? Again? Just shoot me now.

It’s my fault. I told him to shop for his computer sound card. It’s been blown for months and he’s been using a poor crippled dino Dell.

Okay, I’ll go.  I sigh really big and head to the shower.

Bob drives. I put on a bit of makeup. We go to Best Buy.

Then Home Depot and Target… We stopped at Starbucks, Old Navy and Penney’s (I’m masochistic)….

And eight hours later we came home.

We bought a new computer instead of a sound card. We Christmas shopped for the kids. I picked up new makeup.

And the stores were gloriously, wonderfully, free of lines. Almost dead.

Now we know when to shop sales.

After dinner we returned to Best Buy to pick up his new computer.

I really dread balancing our checking account after last week. I have a mental tab running. It makes my bar tabs dwindle into insignificance, although I am a cheap date. Please don’t spread that around. It’s my best kept secret.

But the real horror of it all? I have to go out again tomorrow.

This time, I’m going armed.

21 Nov

I missed my post yesterday.

It feels like a new lover has gone. Over one missed post.

Wow. I’m hooked.

Yesterday almost did me in.

First stop: the vet’s office. It was a last ditch effort to control the flea population. Frontline hasn’t been working. We tried a couple of different applications. Dogs still scratched.

So I bit the bullet and bought the oral treatment.

Looks like the fleas are gone.

I’m doing a happy dance.

Don’t look, it’s not pretty. I can’t dance.

So, after the vet’s office, I realized the rear compartment of Bru-honda was full of Goodwill donations. Oh no. Oh hell. I was in Benton.

I adjusted and stopped at Wal-Mart in Bryant. My purchases were safely loaded into Bru’s backseat.

I headed back to Little Rock. It’s a quick trip. Benton is only about 15, maybe 20 minutes from my house. Bryant is less than 10 minutes from the vet’s office.

Next stop: Goodwill.

And finally, I was headed to the grocery store.

Kroger was….interesting. I put on my happy face and started in the restroom. Well geez, I had coffee before I left the house. A girl’s gotta pee, right?

The coffee shop had been eclipsed by a Honey Baked Ham display. The attendant told me I could get more coffee at the deli. Okay. I needed more coffee.

Produce department is in front of the deli, so I proceeded to dodge all the elderly that were clogging the aisles. Later I discovered that Tuesday is Senior Day and you get an additional 5% off.  I should have suspected the store was going to be somewhat chaotic. Produce was littered with boxes and carts. The guys were desperately trying to restock shelves. And squash wouldn’t be in for half an hour.

Coffee next. Got it!

There was one little old lady on a motorized cart. Her walker was in the basket. Her husband was pushing another cart. Seemed like every aisle I turned into was blocked by the two of them side by side. He would notice, move his cart and allow the rest of us to pass.

The baking aisle was a zoo. The poor lady trying to restock was overheard muttering plaintively, ‘I can’t catch up!’.

We, the shoppers, seemed to maintain a good attitude. I chatted with several. Then we moved on.

I finally left the store, all my bags packed, and $186.00 poorer.

Home.

I’m driving and trying not to think of unloading and putting all this stuff away, not to mention pondering the chore of cooking it…and then cleaning up after the cooking it….and then cleaning up after the eating it…

The ‘I need gas light is on’. I forgot to get gas.

Sam’s is now added to the list of stops.

Might as well get some Taco Bell while I’m this close.

I got home just before 2.

I unloaded. I started to put away.

My lack of sleep caught me and there were a couple of hours of slow motion while I continued the chore list.

Enter Bob. As I was explaining my method of thawing the turkey, he decided he wanted a whole turkey to stuff instead of the breast I had purchased for the five of us.

Okaaaaayyyyyyyy… I’ll stop at Kroger again. No problem. Freeze the breast for next month.

Falon came over to use the Cricut.

I left for dinner with Sherri’s mom, Dorothy. I had her flight itinerary for Thanksgiving with Sherri.

So dinner, then take-out for the kids.

Time to buy Bob’s turkey. The only turkeys left were over 20 pounds. So be it. Bob got a BIG turkey.

I wonder if that’s a sign.

Finally home to stay shortly after 7:30.  My ass was draggin’.

And I still had to make room for a 20 pound turkey in the fridge.

The day just would not end.

I finally found a home for the turkey, Zach went off to play with friends, Falon left the Cricut and went home, and I crashed.

Now that’s a day in a common, almost senior woman’s life.

And I missed my post. I’m so sad.

Tonight and tomorrow I will bake and shake together a Thanksgiving meal to share with my beautiful family.

I bid you a Happy Thanksgiving, a happy holiday. I will be back with more antics next week.

I hope I have given you a smile!

A Pagan Christmas, Master, and Yard Art

19 Nov

I’m drinking coffee and pondering the Universe.

Now there’s  an endeavor that will push me forward.

I seem to be victim to an inertia I can’t identify.

Trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Now there’s a serious problem for a woman pushing 60.

Focus.

I was checking online degree programs.  Would I like to pursue a Master’s in Creative Writing? That’s some expensive sh*t.

Don’t I have a way with words?

If I wait another year, I can attend the local university with fees and tuition waived. I’ll be an official senior citizen then.  And the same applies to a writing program just 30 minutes away. The tuition there is quite reasonable for any student. Perhaps start the first semester as a paid student and finish as a senior?

Geez, this just ain’t right. I’m way too young to be a senior citizen. The Golden Years.  It does not compute.

Today is a busy one…this week is a busy one. I’m such a kid about decorating for Christmas. We actually don’t do a big tree anymore. Too many animals. So I do wreaths and hangings, and small trees all over the place. I did bring the Christmas Village down from the attic. It’s waiting to go up.

I look at this celebration in a pagan sort of way. It’s winter. It is a time for seasonal affective disorder. It’s time to let your hair down and enjoy a party with the family, tell them how much you love them, exchange gifts, and eat. Last year I didn’t have time to wrap all the stocking stuffers. Some were too big for the stocking anyway. So I put them all in a huge flannel Santa bag, made my family close their eyes, and passed them out. I really had fun with that one. Might just have to repeat it.

Speaking of the eating part, my tradition for Christmas is a scratch German Chocolate Cake. It’s Zach’s favorite too so we do one for his birthday on December 3 as well. My mom started this one. I love German Chocolate Cake, the best part being the coconut pecan icing. For as long as I can remember, she made one for me every Christmas with a double recipe of the icing. Yummmmmmmmm.

It’s a diabetic nightmare. So pump up the insulin once a year. Cause this is a must have on my list. I have conceded to a recipe and a half of icing. There are some things you just have to splurge on.

I love the lights. I love to turn all the house lights out and sit in the glow from the Christmas lights. I love Santa Clause. My kids asked me if I believed in Santa when they were little. Yes, I believe in the spirit of Santa Clause. I’m kinda sneaky.

Falon is my favorite oldest child. Zachary is my favorite youngest child. Barry is my favorite middle child. Makes them all my favorite.

They roll their eyes at me. Diplomatic relations with children are tricky no matter their age.

I ran across a deer this morning in the yard, but she was startled and took off for the back forty. One of them was almost within touching distance of Bob a few days ago. Dog went ballistic and scared her. She ran too.

The following were stationary when I went to the mailbox, so I got pics.

Sun and Moon on a Cloudy Autumn Morn

Autumn Out Back

Autumn Berries

Pretty Pink Camellia

I is so happy to see the camellia. Did you ever see the movie ‘Camille’? Great movie.

What a segue!

I’m now officially behind on Pinterest inspired tutorials. We’re crafting this upcoming weekend though, so I’ll catch up. I really have to build a Photo Studio and find my floodlights. I may have to make the studio under my desk. The floodlights were lost in the attic emptying.

I’m not going to start an organizing trend again. Just try to stay on track with what I’ve got. After all, a cluttered desk is the sign of a genius at work.

I must have an IQ off the charts.

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