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Slow Down, Moving Too Fast

14 May

Time is hurtling by me. And that’s a topic that recurs in my thoughts and ramblings with stunning regularity. Time.

How does one find the time to do the things that satisfy, make life worth living, when so much of our time is spent just trying to make a living?

You would think at my age I would have a better grasp of this. Yeah. You would think. But it has escaped me. This road I travel is one of accidents. It’s a take-it-as-it-comes road, good, bad, or indifferent, just deal-with-it-when-it-happens road.

I’m trying to take a right. Signing up for all the festivals and craft shows I feel like I can afford and posting to my Etsy shop and 7 or so other platforms is a beginning. But it is a slow go. And I know I’m not moving fast enough…time is moving too fast…it’s slipping by me and my desire to begin by traveling Arkansas with my wares is becoming a reality in slow motion because I’m trying to fund it the goal without making sales of my wares…but I am building a following one person at a time. I’m making contacts, passing out cards, receiving new invitations to participate…is this how it is done? Is this the beginnings of a success I’ve never known? I don’t recognize it as I have no experience of it.

Time. Do I have time to do this? The spousal unit thinks not. He has no confidence in me. He’s focused on my efforts to find a ‘job’. Yes…I do need a steady income source. But I need this creative outlet. I need to spend time in my ‘happy place’ and travel to the festivals and shows, local and not so local, set up and talk to people, enjoy the social aspects as well as the possibility of success.

Time. I want to add mono-prints and emulsion prints to my inventory. I’m stymied. I reach a point in the day where my energy has waned and I’m ready to immerse myself in a book. I need to learn to pull back from that…Time.

I’ve just indulged in such a self-absorbed rant. My apologies.

Here’s another post to my Etsy shop. It’s time.

4 x 6 Picture swapping photo frame. Rustic little picket fence.

4 x 6 Picture swapping photo frame. Rustic little picket fence.

Picture too. 4 x 6 picture swapping frame.

Picture too. 4 x 6 picture swapping frame.

www.etsy.com/shop/aFrameJob

 

It’s Hump Day

6 May

Can you hear that camel proclaiming the day? There truly are advertising geniuses out there. How many jingles can you hum or sing? How many ad quotes pepper your thoughts or speech? Oh yeah…geniuses.

I’m not one.

There is a lovely cardinal hovering around the window outside my workroom. He was perched on the fence when I first noticed him. Ah, Spring has sprung and the temps are hovering in the eighties this week. Time to consider opening the pool. The water will slowly warm and eventually we can spend an evening or two enjoying the stars.

Nights would be best. Either that or a full body suit for me. Either one would hide the many imperfections! Hehe…who cares? Every wrinkle and imperfection has been earned I think.

Today I’m posting again to my Etsy shop. Here’s the offering. Let me know what you think…or go shopping here!

4 x 6 Photo swapping frame. Rustic, country style, embellished with cotton florals.

4 x 6 Photo swapping frame. Rustic, country style, embellished with cotton florals.

Pretty in Green photo swapping 4 x 6 picture frame

Pretty in Green photo swapping 4 x 6 picture frame

Monday, madness, and moving on

3 Mar

It’s Monday.

It’s gloomy outside and cold and light flakes of snow are falling.

There are a few birds twittering among the still leafless branches of the walnut trees.

There is a dog whining at my elbow.

The spousal unit brought me a present this morning. I don’t know why. He is so filled with hate and anger. All of it seems to be directed at my loss of employment and my son. We are preventing him from retiring.

Bi-polar disorder affects the patient and his family. It is a horrible illness to live with, made worse if the patient refuses treatment for underlying issues.

 

I am sad. I am happy. I worry. I leave it to the universe to sort out.

It IS what it IS.

I am hungry for real food after five days of liquids and hot cereal. I’ve lost 6 pounds. Not an ideal situation for the gastric bypass and my borderline status for qualifying.

 

I am hungry to finish something begun long ago.

Yet I struggle, even as a senior, to overcome ennui and a paralysis I cannot identify.

Fear of failure? Long ago dreams never honored.

Perennial optimism shrouds bone-weariness.

 

There is a roof to repair.

A bathroom requires propping up from beneath.

There is a fence line to clear.

This house truly is a money pit.

Perhaps it’s time to let it go, this place I’ve called home for over half a century.

Is that even possible?

 

I will open the notes. I will open my mind.

I will finish the outline.

I will fashion a new chapter in this life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obits and daffodils

24 Feb

The daffs under the pecan tree are up and blooming. That first sign of spring is certainly welcome this year. I’ve been too cold and damp this winter. Ready to move on!
We’ve become obsessed with ladybugs on baby clothing. And shopping pink aha become a crazy pastime. Little Zoe Kaitlyn Ella Grace Adeline is going to have an outfit for every day.
We’ve been told it is time to switch to diaper hoarding.
And I have scheduled the gastric bypass surgery for March 12. Wednesday begins two weeks of liquid diet in preparation. Oh, I can also have fruit smoothies, oatmeal, grits, and cream of wheat. Think I’ll go for a box of donuts, a couple of pork chops and a German chocolate cake tomorrow as a prequel to deprivation.
My friend Patty said she was ready to lick the pavement.
Think I’ll try meditating over the daffodils.

Saturday, Snow, Shopping

8 Feb

I’m reading a book on organizing and maintaining. Another desperate measure?

Here’s my take on it. My probably started in college when there was a whole new world opening up in front of my very eyes.

No longer the chubby little girl with a lack of confidence; now a chubby young woman with a lack of confidence and an inability to say no when asked to participate in one thing or another. Reader’s theatre, anyone? Yeah, me! Stage hand? I’ll volunteer! Need a body in the scene shop to build sets or hang lights? Oh, here I am.

And my home became a tangle of dropped papers and piled up laundry. Anybody relate yet?

Then, there were kids and husbands and they just don’t get on the same page with you. You clean until you throw your hands up in despair.

I have enough of a challenge to take care of my own messes, let alone everyone else’s.

So today, I’m making a resolution. One corner at a time, maintain that corner for a while and start on another corner.

Baby steps. I think we’ve been through this before. Hmmmm.

——

There’s snow on the ground. What is up with the weather? Oh, yeah…global warming. And there is a large faction of folks out there that don’t believe it. Okay, folks, get on board. We’re killing the planet. We have to start fixing it. Again, baby steps are needed by all of us.

Get on board, peeps. We can do this.

Let’s take recycling. I’m not perfect. I slip, but I try. Same with re-useable shopping bags. I remember them more often than not now.

And it doesn’t hurt a bit! It’s a pain-free effort. I really like it when it’s pain free. Making changes too.

—–

So, with the snow, I drove Zach to work. The roads weren’t too bad, so I picked up the daughter and away we went to shop for baby clothes. I had coupons at Penney’s. Woooowhooo. And it was her pay check week and her turn to buy. So much fun and such cute little girl onesies and pants and little jackets and play sets. Love me some Carter’s! Target has some cute stuff too. But she bought a desk there today. We had to retrieve Zach from work to help unload that one!  Glad he was available.

She has discovered such cute ideas for baby shower on Pinterest. Can’t wait! One of our Bunco players is also pregnant and one of Falon’s other friends is having dual babes…fraternal twins. Oh, my. I’m thinking play dates. Lots of play dates.

Guess we need to rest up for those.

ZZZZZZZZZZ.

Wednesday and I’m Trying This Again

5 Feb

I’ve downloaded the app. If all works well I can do a post from just about anywhere although this tiny iPhone keyboard may be the cause of many a spelling error. I’m certain you will be forgiving.
So just for today may I say I’m determined to take on this new venue and make it work!
It would certainly increase my happiness quotient.
Wooowhooo.

Tuesday, Ice, and Finding Human

4 Feb

The weather was awful this morning and reports of accidents along I-30 gave me pause. So I didn’t leave the house on my morning commute. Working from home is such a pleasure. The cloud was an idea of significant convenience for those odd moments in life when getting to the office is not advised.

Sleet and freezing rain, patches of slick pavement, and a major accident blocking travel just before the river bridge were definitely a deterrent.

All the important things were done and hours passed most pleasantly in proofing, sending off copy, and posting obits.

So, here I am for the second time this week. I love it. I’m shooting for three times a week. I think it is doable. I hope I can find something to say.

Speaking of obituaries; I’ve found that reading about the lives that have passed from this mortal coil is rather interesting. I place their stories, sometimes edited down to birth and death and family members who have gone and those who stay, occasionally the mention of a beloved pet, usually a dog, occasionally a cat, sometimes extolling the deceased virtues and contributions to his community.

I stumbled across this a little earlier:

sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as you own-populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness{-an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

You can find it here.

I wanted to share as it speaks to my heart. It corroborates a sense of humans I have long felt. My contention is, has been, that the merest passage of one human across another’s path has an impact, leaves an impression. A breath intertwining in an elevator, the moment you cross an intersection and pass the cars and their drivers and passengers waiting at the light, the car in front or back leaves something intangible with you. You exchange something.

Is it energy or emotion? Physical or psychic?  Perhaps it is the hint of a smile, or tears falling, or the set of a jaw, or the gleam in an eye, or a thought projected outward. Have you sensed it before? The sharing of energy with a stranger? Have you suddenly turned to watch a tail light disappear or study the woman who just passed by with her cart of groceries? Have you felt the need to smile and compliment the young woman checking your purchases? Or looked up to meet the glance of a stranger;  known something of him in that gaze?

I would hazard a guess that when we do experience this sense of another, we choose to ignore it more often than not. We have so much fear.

Perhaps we should pay more attention; stop for a moment and take heed that we are not alone.

I would hope we would be kinder in so doing.

 

 

Worry, Work, Write

26 Oct

Worry works.

The first time I heard that, I laughed.

It isn’t funny anymore.

Let’s face it, you worry and nothing happens, your worry is justified.

You worry and it does happen, well then you knew it all along.

Bob worries.

And he worried about the heating and air going out until it did.

We is seriously poor now.

I will have to work until I drop dead because now he’s obsessing over the septic system.

And you know his worry will work.

——-

On a lighter note, I’ve finally taken a baby step toward my version of a Hess/Evanovitch style light read novel. I’m working on the Snowflake method. Seems to be simple and organized;  the former plays into my preference for following the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) principal and the latter gives me a focus, which I lack in spades.

The first step in the Snowflake (thanks Randy Ingermanson) is a one sentence summary of the novel, trying for fewer than fifteen words:

The death of a second-sighted citizen wreaks havoc with the eccentric inhabitants of Armageddon, Arkansas.

Ladies: would you pick it up based on that one sentence? A light read? A weekend of entertainment?

Step Two expands that sentence to a paragraph. I’m working on it. My notes are beside me: a page of scribbles that does have a complete sentence here and there, an editor’s nightmare that makes sense to me.

There are also character notes in the briefcase, index cards with scenes that have played in my head.

As shopping is no longer a viable activity, writing can now become a great substitute.

——-

The push of time toward the winter solstice, the morning darkness, and the anticipation of a dark drive home soon, instills a certain melancholy in all of us I suppose. I find myself experiencing emotions I cannot name, almost a ‘missing’ of something….a curious sense of nostalgia, perhaps? Ah, and yes, my birthday approaches. Sixty is a number, I remind myself. It is not a death sentence.

No…we receive our death sentences at birth.

I’m sure most will find that a rather morbid statement.

Humans. We are all in this together. We share the same sort of entrance and the same sort of exit, and can’t agree on much of anything in the in-between.

Now you know why I’ve been MIA. A cluttered mind can often lead to ennui.

February Had it to: Ennui

Beatlemania, The Ridge, Happy Campers

30 Sep

I’m finally here to post some pics of the Beatlesfest. Take a camp chair if you go next year. You’ll need it for the music and the talent show.

The Fest is small and growing. This was the third year. The best part was meeting and interviewing Carrie Mae Snapp,

who was there when the Be

atles landed in Walnut Ridge. Her story will eventually make it to this venue.

So, for a couplo of Pics:

 

On Abbey Road. Sculpture by Danny West

On Abbey Road. Sculpture by Danny West

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gotta Love it.

Gotta Love it.

Beatles Fest 021Beatles Fest 016

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weeks are flying by and the Holidays will be upon us so very soon. I’m trying to decide if my energy level is sufficient to enjoy decorating for the season. There have been a couple of years when it has become a chore rather than a joy. Perhaps it is a sign of aging. Or perhaps there are too many activities vying for my attention.

I know this. Another year has passed and I am no closer to discovering a passion that can withstand my random nature.

Sometimes that random nature is a burden.

Rainy days and mondays

12 Sep

20130912-160135.jpg
Wow. May have been the longest day since the last one we talked about! But hey, it’s raining and there’s chicken for dinner.
I’m trying out the WordPress app for IPhone. In my case it should be called Icall…for help.
Oh, I forgot to post yesterday’s post! Guess I’ll do it tomorrow. IF I don’t forget!
Have a great night!
Whoa, this is a slow go. Someone please help!

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