Archive | February, 2014

Obits and daffodils

24 Feb

The daffs under the pecan tree are up and blooming. That first sign of spring is certainly welcome this year. I’ve been too cold and damp this winter. Ready to move on!
We’ve become obsessed with ladybugs on baby clothing. And shopping pink aha become a crazy pastime. Little Zoe Kaitlyn Ella Grace Adeline is going to have an outfit for every day.
We’ve been told it is time to switch to diaper hoarding.
And I have scheduled the gastric bypass surgery for March 12. Wednesday begins two weeks of liquid diet in preparation. Oh, I can also have fruit smoothies, oatmeal, grits, and cream of wheat. Think I’ll go for a box of donuts, a couple of pork chops and a German chocolate cake tomorrow as a prequel to deprivation.
My friend Patty said she was ready to lick the pavement.
Think I’ll try meditating over the daffodils.

Gigging a hint of fiction

13 Feb

Love and Promise

She gazed at Jace. Her feelings plain on her face. She would die for him.

Her love was so great her heart nearly burst with it.

He looked up and into her eyes. He saw her depth of affection, her commitment.

I love you, Essa. You know I do. He said.

He seemed somewhat aggrieved. She didn’t really understand.

He sighed and reached for her.

I just want you to stop pooping on the floor. He muttered.

Cotton is a plant

11 Feb

There is a senate race in Arkansas in November. No surprise there. In early polling incumbent senator Mark Pryor is running neck and neck with his opponent, Representative Tom Cotton. Cotton is one of those freshmen reps responsible for shutting down the government last year. I’m sure there are dozens of justifications for the Republicans in the house to tie up the government, perhaps even a few good ones, but then there are a number of petulant children who can justify bad behavior a dozen ways.

Cotton’s campaign, as far as I can tell, is relying solely on his abhorrence of Obamacare and Pryor’s support of it as the basis for his being the better candidate. I don’t actually know what he stands for…but I’m pretty sure I know what he is against.

Cotton is supported by groups like the Club for Growth, and therefore the Koch brothers, who have done a pretty damn good job of buying Arkansas politicians one way or another. They’ve recently acquired a manufacturing company in Maumelle, a part of central Arkansas. Yes, Arkansas is getting all Koched up. And Cotton is their next plant in the senate. A man’s ambition can be such a boon to a puppet-master’s agenda.

This is a Cotton quote from a recent news release:

Anybody who is paying attention can see that Obamacare is not working,” said Cotton. “Yet Senator Mark Pryor said just last week that he would still vote for Obamacare again today, even with everything that has gone wrong.”

Yes Mr. Cotton, the website got off to a bad start. It was embarrassing, sure, but not an error of apocalyptic proportions. It is now up and running..although we know that must chap your ass.

Yes, we know how much you and your Koch friends hate taking care of the poor and sick. We’ve watched you vote. I’ve seen your request for contributions where you solicit donations based on the repealing of the law. Damn Mr. Cotton, why don’t you ask for Medicare and Social Security to be repealed too? Don’t you just hate these social programs?

And now the Arkansas legislature is trying to find enough votes to renew the Private Option, the expansion of health insurance through private vendors using federal Medicaid dollars. I’m sure Mr. Cotton hopes they don’t come up with the votes to do so. That would certainly be further proof that Obamacare isn’t working.

The Arkansas Department of Human Services recently found that almost 100,000 Arkansans now have health insurance or Medicaid. People, Mr. Cotton. Living, breathing,people now have the security and peace of mind that access to a doctor provides.

I would ask this:

Mr. Cotton, would you be willing to tell those 100,000 Arkansans, face to face, that you are more than willing to repeal the law that made this access possible? That’s what you are advocating, isn’t it. Put an end to a program that isn’t working? Isn’t that what you keep telling us? It’s not working?  So, yeah, Mr. Cotton, you and the Misters Koch need to go on a car trip around the state and let each and every one of those Arkansans know exactly where you stand. And perhaps those Arkansas legislators who vote against continuing the private option or morphing into a better program should accompany you.

Let those people know. Oh, and all of you considering a vote for Cotton…you need to ride along. Do any of you have the balls to do it? Do any of you religious types have the compassion and understanding to stand up and take care of even the least among you?

It isn’t perfect, but it is a step in the right direction. No one becomes wealthy or independent alone. It requires the labor of many, the contributions of many.

And by the way, social consciousness is not a disease.

Saturday, Snow, Shopping

8 Feb

I’m reading a book on organizing and maintaining. Another desperate measure?

Here’s my take on it. My probably started in college when there was a whole new world opening up in front of my very eyes.

No longer the chubby little girl with a lack of confidence; now a chubby young woman with a lack of confidence and an inability to say no when asked to participate in one thing or another. Reader’s theatre, anyone? Yeah, me! Stage hand? I’ll volunteer! Need a body in the scene shop to build sets or hang lights? Oh, here I am.

And my home became a tangle of dropped papers and piled up laundry. Anybody relate yet?

Then, there were kids and husbands and they just don’t get on the same page with you. You clean until you throw your hands up in despair.

I have enough of a challenge to take care of my own messes, let alone everyone else’s.

So today, I’m making a resolution. One corner at a time, maintain that corner for a while and start on another corner.

Baby steps. I think we’ve been through this before. Hmmmm.


There’s snow on the ground. What is up with the weather? Oh, yeah…global warming. And there is a large faction of folks out there that don’t believe it. Okay, folks, get on board. We’re killing the planet. We have to start fixing it. Again, baby steps are needed by all of us.

Get on board, peeps. We can do this.

Let’s take recycling. I’m not perfect. I slip, but I try. Same with re-useable shopping bags. I remember them more often than not now.

And it doesn’t hurt a bit! It’s a pain-free effort. I really like it when it’s pain free. Making changes too.


So, with the snow, I drove Zach to work. The roads weren’t too bad, so I picked up the daughter and away we went to shop for baby clothes. I had coupons at Penney’s. Woooowhooo. And it was her pay check week and her turn to buy. So much fun and such cute little girl onesies and pants and little jackets and play sets. Love me some Carter’s! Target has some cute stuff too. But she bought a desk there today. We had to retrieve Zach from work to help unload that one!  Glad he was available.

She has discovered such cute ideas for baby shower on Pinterest. Can’t wait! One of our Bunco players is also pregnant and one of Falon’s other friends is having dual babes…fraternal twins. Oh, my. I’m thinking play dates. Lots of play dates.

Guess we need to rest up for those.


Wednesday and I’m Trying This Again

5 Feb

I’ve downloaded the app. If all works well I can do a post from just about anywhere although this tiny iPhone keyboard may be the cause of many a spelling error. I’m certain you will be forgiving.
So just for today may I say I’m determined to take on this new venue and make it work!
It would certainly increase my happiness quotient.

Tuesday, Ice, and Finding Human

4 Feb

The weather was awful this morning and reports of accidents along I-30 gave me pause. So I didn’t leave the house on my morning commute. Working from home is such a pleasure. The cloud was an idea of significant convenience for those odd moments in life when getting to the office is not advised.

Sleet and freezing rain, patches of slick pavement, and a major accident blocking travel just before the river bridge were definitely a deterrent.

All the important things were done and hours passed most pleasantly in proofing, sending off copy, and posting obits.

So, here I am for the second time this week. I love it. I’m shooting for three times a week. I think it is doable. I hope I can find something to say.

Speaking of obituaries; I’ve found that reading about the lives that have passed from this mortal coil is rather interesting. I place their stories, sometimes edited down to birth and death and family members who have gone and those who stay, occasionally the mention of a beloved pet, usually a dog, occasionally a cat, sometimes extolling the deceased virtues and contributions to his community.

I stumbled across this a little earlier:

sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as you own-populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness{-an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

You can find it here.

I wanted to share as it speaks to my heart. It corroborates a sense of humans I have long felt. My contention is, has been, that the merest passage of one human across another’s path has an impact, leaves an impression. A breath intertwining in an elevator, the moment you cross an intersection and pass the cars and their drivers and passengers waiting at the light, the car in front or back leaves something intangible with you. You exchange something.

Is it energy or emotion? Physical or psychic?  Perhaps it is the hint of a smile, or tears falling, or the set of a jaw, or the gleam in an eye, or a thought projected outward. Have you sensed it before? The sharing of energy with a stranger? Have you suddenly turned to watch a tail light disappear or study the woman who just passed by with her cart of groceries? Have you felt the need to smile and compliment the young woman checking your purchases? Or looked up to meet the glance of a stranger;  known something of him in that gaze?

I would hazard a guess that when we do experience this sense of another, we choose to ignore it more often than not. We have so much fear.

Perhaps we should pay more attention; stop for a moment and take heed that we are not alone.

I would hope we would be kinder in so doing.



Coming back, Chaos, Good things

2 Feb

It is Sunday and I am trying to find my way back to blogging and writing and find my way forward to the completion of a project.

As Trena observed, the shaking of shiny new keys is enough to distract me.

Ah, find a way.

I am to be a grandmother toward the end of June; a very involved grandmother as the husband/father is soon to be an ex. Long story and part of the long story that has kept me away from my blog.

Job changes, trying to overcome the challenges of senior learning, conflict, moving the daughter, moving her again, trying to find a place for everything, attempting to organize the chaos and the emotional toll, decisions about health and all the random moments of love, conversation and an onerous exhaustion, have contributed to my absence.

Life happens.

The spousal unit has been most accommodating. I think he is rather excited by the prospect of a little one in our midst. I am. We shopped Friday evening for Zoe Kaitlyn Ella Grace (no decision has been made on the Tadpole’s name yet) and he found cute little onesies and outfits and shoes and socks and pointed them out to daughter and I. May I say that Momma is a picky wench.

Our lives will change again. She will bring so much hope with her. This can be an ugly world, but there is hope that we can show her the beauty, and that she will be part of a generation that changes the world and welcomes tolerance and understanding and stops the madness that stupid white men have generally perpetrated.

What a sentence.


The spousal unit has also encouraged me to look into bariatric surgery. I’ve mentioned this before. His director had a gastrectomy and lost 35 pounds in 6 weeks. She looks amazing, says she feels great, and is on her way to resolving her lifetime weight issues.

But looks are certainly not the consideration. The risks are increased with my age, but the benefits could be outstanding. With gastric bypass, there is a good chance that my Type 2 diabetes will resolve. It has largely gone uncontrolled for the past 20 years and it will kill me early if something isn’t done. I’ve probably lost and re-gained a thousand pounds over my lifetime; always returning to the same high.

Desperate measures.

I’ve attended the seminar and been accepted for surgery, although I am not morbidly obese and barely qualify based on my BMI, I was accepted because the addition of the diabetes and high cholesterol pushed me into qualifying. Now I must make the co-pays and schedule the surgery. March will be the month we schedule. I have some fear…but lots of anticipation. I hope to feel amazing after this surgery. I hope to lose the insulin and perhaps even decrease the pain.

And live to be 100!


So, today I resolve to carve out time to blog and write and spend time contemplating the beauty of the universe. It will probably be a slow go, rather erratic, somewhat chaotic, but such is life. Perhaps that is more of the beauty of it than I realize.

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