Job Hunting, Crazy, and Non-existent Eccentric Options

22 Jan

Help Wanted

I began the process of sending out resumes today. I have made inquiries, but found nothing suitable in person or by phone to date.

The problem is my personality. I’m a serious fringe dweller and it is very difficult for me to be anything other than what I am. Although I possess multiple skills,  I am bossy, even bitchy at times. My idiosyncrasies are plentiful.

I’m likable I think. My sense of humor is still intact. But most employers are pretty rigid in a work environment and no matter how much you are liked, there’s not much room for personal eccentricities.

I have a tendency to run 10 to 15 minutes behind, but I always show up. I enjoy working alone. I hate to wear pantyhose…with a vengeance and feel much the same about bras. I don’t enjoy business suits and am found in jeans about 90% of my waking hours. I generally live and work in organized chaos.

I am never without an idea. I brainstorm and ask questions in order to be the best I can. I have great communications skills. I can spell and write a complete sentence. But….

It’s that right brain thing. I have to have my mind, hands, and heart engaged. I am easily bored and will jump from project to project. I work best with a deadline. It’s all a problem.

What to do?

Is there a place for one such as me? So far, my luck has held and my employers have worked with me, up to a point. And once that point has been reached my demise has usually been satisfactory for everyone concerned.

Although it does seem that a bit of scandal precedes or follows my leaving. Once I was escorted away from my desk, having done who knows what to precipitate the proceedings. I believe at that point I simply stood up to the wrong person. I have a tendency to support the underdog and anyone on my staff is the underdog in my opinion.

Once, my salary was summarily cut and in my own inimitable fashion I lost my temper and foul words dripped from my forked tongue. Later I discovered that I was accused of ‘shady’ dealings. I wonder why they kept me on for 13 years if they were so concerned about my ‘shady’ dealings. I still haven’t figured that one out.

Once the funding ran out on an Arts Council project. Well I certainly had no control over that one.

A couple of divorces made my emotional state rather tenuous. I was well rid of both of them, the husbands that is,  but the unknown is a scary place to inhabit.

I sound like a crazy woman.

If the shoe fits….

Now I’ll have to change my resume.

Objective: Permanent employment with a progressive company seeking insane woman for work with head, hands, and heart. Must be open to late arrivals and early departures. Must allow casual dress. Must be willing to train and then leave me alone. Salary required $200,000.00 per year, non-negotiable. You get what you pay for…and psychiatric treatment is expensive.

There. That should work.

2 Responses to “Job Hunting, Crazy, and Non-existent Eccentric Options”

  1. Sarah Green January 23, 2013 at 9:15 am #

    If you find one that pays that well, get me one, too!

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