Woman Seeks Commitment for Black Friday Shopping

26 Nov

I am a blogaholic. It’s been five days since my last post.

Two hours later… I ‘ve made it through all my email! Taking the holiday to cook, eat, and shop really put me in a state of behind. I like that. State of Behind. That’s my perpetual state of being. I live in a State of Confusion.  I wonder if the State of Behind is synonymous with the State of Late. I suppose that would depend on how you define late. I don’t think it would work for the late Mr. Smith.

Tuesday, I shopped for groceries and an odd assortment of craft supplies. Wednesday dear hubby and I did chores and errands. Thursday I cooked, we ate, we played Fill or Bust and then Falon and I left the house on a night long shopping expedition.

What were we thinking?

Apparently we weren’t thinking at all.

We started at Walmart at 8 p.m. People had been lined up for four hours according to one of the staff. We missed a few deals.

We headed to Sears tool department. The things I wanted didn’t go on sale till 4 a.m.

Michael’s was next. Now that was a joy. We got what we wanted and the store was not crowded.

Next stop Kohl’s. Kohl’s was opening at midnight so we had a few minutes in the parking lot, in the rain. I checked my blood sugar, injected my insulin, and we played games on our I-phone and Kindle Fire, respectively.

We got some of what we wanted and a couple of things we stumbled across. We stood in line for over an hour to check out, but that was okay. Kohl’s gets you through pretty quick. They have method to the madness!

By this time, my blood sugar had dropped a little lower. I was hungry again. We went to Denny’s for breakfast. Num!

Next stop was Gordman’s at 5 a.m. It was still drizzling. We napped for a few minutes, played more games….then decided to skip Gordman’s and go to Penny’s for their 6:00 a.m. opening.

Penney’s was a struggle. Folks is crazy. And the fine print on the signs equals disappointment in the check-out line. I lost Falon, nearly got trampled, she yelled for me, I heard her….told her I was headed to the back, stood in line only to find out about said fine print and left with her swearing she’d never do it again.

I should have recorded her, video and sound.  Some of the sound would be X-rated.

At least we made line friends. You know those people you chat up while standing in line attempting to stave off frustration and sleep?

In our sad, frustrated, sleep-deprived, State of Fogginess, we decided to head North to Joann Fabrics.

It was the best stop ever! I actually got fabric and pinking shears, rotary cutting blades, and a dog toy for less than the cost of the fabric shears. I was soooooooooo happy. And there were no large crowds, no lines. I was sooooooooo much happier.

I dropped Falon at home and headed to the house. Finally at approximately 10:00 a.m. Friday morning I found the sofa.  Woke up just in time to make dinner and go back to sleep.

FIVE REASONS TO STAY HOME AND INTERNET SHOP ON BLACK FRIDAY:

  1. FOLKS IS CRAZY
  2. PEOPLE WILL APPARENTLY KILL FOR A GOOD DEAL (See Number 1)
  3. SLEEP DEPRIVATION MAKES FOLKS RUDE AND PUSHY (See Number 1)
  4. SOME PEOPLE WILL BUY MULTIPLES OF GOOD DEALS THEREBY DEPRIVING OTHERS OF SAID DEAL (See Number 1)
  5. YOU STAY HOME, I GET THE DEALS. Hahaha.

I’ve left specific instructions for my commitment to a pre-chosen asylum should I EVER consent to Black Friday shopping outside the confines of my laptop again. The arrangements have been made.

So after all that I’m thinking a weekend of decorating and crafting, right?

MAKING PLANS 101: Don’t Do It.

Saturday morning I’m drinking coffee and trying to figure out if it’s still Friday. Bob comes out showered and fully dressed. Do I wanna go to Best Buy with him?

Not only no, but HELL NO!

I fall out of my chair. Shopping? Again? Just shoot me now.

It’s my fault. I told him to shop for his computer sound card. It’s been blown for months and he’s been using a poor crippled dino Dell.

Okay, I’ll go.  I sigh really big and head to the shower.

Bob drives. I put on a bit of makeup. We go to Best Buy.

Then Home Depot and Target… We stopped at Starbucks, Old Navy and Penney’s (I’m masochistic)….

And eight hours later we came home.

We bought a new computer instead of a sound card. We Christmas shopped for the kids. I picked up new makeup.

And the stores were gloriously, wonderfully, free of lines. Almost dead.

Now we know when to shop sales.

After dinner we returned to Best Buy to pick up his new computer.

I really dread balancing our checking account after last week. I have a mental tab running. It makes my bar tabs dwindle into insignificance, although I am a cheap date. Please don’t spread that around. It’s my best kept secret.

But the real horror of it all? I have to go out again tomorrow.

This time, I’m going armed.

Oh please, oh please, oh please share your thoughts!

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